Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 Tampa Bay Lightning

(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we’re bound to lose some friends along the journey. We’ve asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The bloggers and fans who hated them the most. Here is J.J. From Kansas, Detroit Red Wings fan and blogger, fondly recalling the 2014-15 Tampa Bay Lightning. Again, this was not written by us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don’t take it so seriously.)

By J.J. From Kansas

We’ve come to the very last of the Eulogies.The collective vitriol of millions of sports fans gathered to roast the last of the losers.

It’s my job to give the Lightning the treatment they deserve.

Well here you go. Here’s the treatment the Lightning deserve: a one-paragraph footnote on the dynasty discussion for the Chicago Blackhawks.

Good job failing to stop that, Tampa.

(This guy couldn’t even carry a gaze, what chance did he have of continuing to carry the Bolts?)

So there’s my eulogy.

A gift to you, fair readers of Yahoo and a gift to future eulogy writers for the Lightning.

Please take it all in.

Enjoy the moment.

Are you ready?

Here it is:

Maybe by the time you have to go to work roasting this franchise in the future, enough people will care about them for it to be worth it. If you went all four rounds without rooting for the Lightning at least once, you’re a bad person.

***

Previously in the Puck Daddy Eulogies:

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 Anaheim Ducks

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 New York Rangers

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 Montreal Canadiens

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 Washington Capitals

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 Calgary Flames

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 Minnesota Wild

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 New York Islanders

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 Detroit Red Wings

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 Pittsburgh Penguins

Eulogy: Remembering the 2014-15 Vancouver Canucks