Here's what a league full of only Bartolo Colon would look like
We live in a glorious time. Technology has made it so that information is available instantaneously, any item can be purchased and delivered to your door without leaving the house and Pokémon are real.
In some cases, the things we can do with technology are truly transcendent. Like, say, if you wanted to see what a baseball league full of only Bartolo Colon would look like, you can do that.
Thanks to beautiful Internet person metsgiants3380, we have the answer to that question. In an article over at Amazin’ Avenue, a popular Mets site on SB Nation, metsgiants3380 created and then simulated an entire season of MLB The Show 16 where every single player was New York Mets pitcher Bartolo Colon.
If you’ve ever watched one of Jon Bois’ Breaking Madden videos, you know exactly what we’re talking about here. Sports video games have become so customizable these days that you can clone players and adjust rosters to that every team is suddenly made up of 25 Bartolo Colon clones.
The entire article over at Amazin’ Avenue is … well … amazing, and you should head over there and read the whole thing if you’re interested.
In order to whet your appetite, or to warn you about what you are getting yourself into, here are some of the more amazing stats produced by a league full of Colon clones:
- The National League batting champ hit .195
- The major-league leader for home runs hit five
- The real Bartolo Colon was an early Cy Young candidate, but was overtaken by his clones
- Eighty-five percent of the games produced a shutout. Eighty-five percent!!!!!!!
- The Colon Rangers posted a league-leading 0.37 ERA
- The Colon Braves posted a league-worst 0.57 ERA
- There was one walk the entire freaking season. One walk!
- Game Four of the NLDS went 45 innings
- One game went 63 innings(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Perhaps the least shocking part of the whole thing was the team that won the World Series. Bartolo Colon is apparently not immune to devil magic.
(BLS H/N: Amazin’ Avenue)
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Chris Cwik is a writer for Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter! Follow @Chris_Cwik
