In the history baseball, there have been several one-sided battles between players and inanimate dugout objects.
From David Ortiz absolutely destroying a Camden Yards bullpen phone with his bat, to Carlos Zambrano dismantling a Gatorade cooler in a fit of rage, to Sean Rodriguez going all Mike Tyson’s Punchout on a Gatorade jug cooler last October, these meltdowns are usually epic. But again, they’re always one-sided.
That tradition continued during the Dodgers 6-1 loss to the Pirates on Saturday night. After allowing a two-run home run to Pirates shortstop Jordy Mercer, veteran reliever Joe Blanton decided to pick a fight with the Gatorade jug in the Dodgers dugout and ended up dropping it with some variation of a slam.
To the play-by-play.
First, that was a total cheap shot. I’m not even sure the jug heard the bell ring.
Second, that is one nightmarish look on Blanton’s face. Yikes.
Also, what could that Gatorade jug have done (or said?) to illicit such a response? After all, the jug only has one job in there. It holds the Gatorade for everyone. It doesn’t play favorites or save the best Gatorade for Clayton Kershaw (though it probably should after this display).
Beyond all that though, what type of offensive attack was that anyway? Was it supposed to be a body slam? A choke slam? Maybe a Rock Bottom? Whatever the case, it was executed rather sloppily, which some would say was also Blanton’s problem when he allowed the home run.
Sorry, Joe. We’re just not that impressed. On a David Ortiz scale of dugout destruction, that’s maybe a three. Though if you could at least explain what you’re were trying to do there, maybe we’ll negotiate up.
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