I’m back and I’m not happy. After travelling the world and enjoying life on what was an actual paradise island, I promptly (albeit accidentally) damaged my IT and also sent my iPhone to a watery grave in the Maldivian Sea. This obviously was very annoying and it’s the reason I’ve been off the roster for a couple of weeks but now, it’s coupled with Spurs effectively handing the title to Leicester. I’ve been a Spurs fan my whole life and I am quite rightly delighted by their performance this season, I just know how infrequently situations like this arise. What’s more, I’m all too aware of how many people will be courting Harry Kane and Dele Alli over the summer and Daniel Levy has already proved with Gareth Bale that he appreciates a big payday.

Off the actual pitch and on the virtual one, I’m currently 8^thin the Perfect XI Rotoworld League and 48^thoverall – I’ll confess that it’s my new favourite game but that might be because I’m doing well at it. Frustratingly I’ve had a challenge with fellow writer Neal Thurman over the last two weeks and I’ve lost by a fraction each time – he’s already challenged me for this week so I’m hoping it’s a case of third time lucky! I’m actually very proud to see three of the Rotoworld writers occupying positions in the top 8 of the Rotoworld League; it’s good to see that we can hold our head up in our own league. In the fantasy league I’m in the top 300,000 but I’m not expecting anything amazing. The best I can hope for really is winning my own private league which I hold by 12 points – gulp!

Predictor

This week it looks like four teams deserve your attention; Arsenal, Watford, Newcastle and United. It really seems a strange mix to me and it shows just how much things have changed as the season progresses. I’m a little concerned with the last two picks because a/Newcastle aren’t that good and b/Leicester win the title if they turn over United. What I can guarantee is that Leicester will be trying and as Vardy is suspended I think Mahrez has to be the first name you put on the roster. I would suggest that you have a look at good old Kane and Alli but I wonder if they will perform to type if they hear before their game that Leicester are champions?

Poisson

With just three games left, the Poisson should almost be as accurate as it can be. For those of you who are new to the system, it starts inaccurately but finishes the last game almost perfectly. So what’s it saying? Well I doubt many people will be surprised that there are goals likely in the London derby between Chelsea and Spurs – avoid either’s defence. There looks to be goals in United versus Leicester too but annoyingly it looks slightly skewed to the Foxes. Most of the other games look to have just a couple of goals in them with the exception of Stoke vs Sunderland that suggests a low scoring affair.

See you next week for the penultimate game.