Finally: a $38,000 leather, snakeskin and 18-karat gold Kobe hat
We’ve spent the last four months preparing to say goodbye to the one and only Kobe Bryant, but I’m embarrassed to say that I never considered what I see clearly now is the finest possible way to bid farewell to the future Hall of Famer: by making and marketing a leather Kobe hat that costs more than the per capita income of a Los Angeles County resident.
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Taste this flavor:
That, my friends, is New Era’s limited edition “Gold” cap, a “staple piece” of “The 24 Collection,” a “highly exclusive assortment” of swag released this week on the Lakers’ website to “honor Kobe’s record-breaking career.” It is made of black leather, with a snakeskin visor (get it?). It has Kobe’s No. 24, with the Lakers logo embossed inside the numbers, on the front in 3.5 ounces of 18-karat gold. It “lives in a specially designed box with a gold outlined 24 exterior,” inasmuch as hats live anywhere, really.
As you can see, much fine craftsmanship went into creating this crown:
Eight of them exist. They cost $38,248.08 (get it?). And in case you had any misconceptions about how many Lakers and Kobe fans there are out there with lots and lots of disposable income, all eight have been sold.
If you missed out, though, don’t worry. You can also buy a purple cashmere cap with five yellow diamonds “affixed above Kobe’s name and number to represent his five NBA Finals victories” for the low-low of just $24,008.24. Or a $12,424.08 diamond lapel pin. Or a 24-karat gold medallion that costs $10,024.48. Or a “stoned lambskin jacket” covered in Swarovski crystals that will run you $5,824. (We’re betting Drake’s got his eye on that one … y’know, to complete his set.)
There are lower-priced items available, too, but as Anschutz Entertainment Group, which runs the Staples Center and its merchandise, told ESPN.com’s Darren Rovell, the whole point of the collection is bid farewell to this Lakers’ gilded age with thematically appropriate gaudy baubles:
“This city is all about spectacle,” said Sean Ryan, vice president of AEG Merchandise. “Derek Jeter might have represented the blue-collar people of New York, but Kobe is more about showtime, so we had to think of diamonds and gold.”
Unfortunately, they did not make a celebratory Kobe grill. That’s a real missed opportunity; Luda would have been ALL OVER THAT.
This is, of course, all tremendously insane, but in precisely the right way to finish off Kobe’s Viking funeral — an extravagance of a final season that cost so much more than its actual demonstrable value, but that (mostly) remained well worth it to the Lakers and their fans because of its significance given all that had come before it.You don’t pay Kobe $25 million in 2016 because that’s what his production’s worth, and you don’t spend $38,000 on a hat because you want to cover your head. You do them to make statements — about how much you can spend, and about how much you’re willing to spend to communicate what you value. I ain’t mad atcha, Kobe fans. Wear your snakeskin/lambskin/gold/silver/crystal/whatever whatevers in pride; we will make no laws respecting the establishment and practice of your religion.
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Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don’t Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter!
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