Here’s how free agents will politely dismiss your team to media
Kevin Durant raised excitement levels considerably in Boston last week when he commented the city and the Celtics franchise in several ways. The logic was clear — Durant had good things to say a promising squad representing one of the most successful organizations in the history of the league, so he is seriously considering donning the green and white for the 2016-17 season and beyond.
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The problem with this interpretation is that Durant’s words can also be seen as the easiest way to answer questions about the Celtics in a respectfully dismissive way. Let’s take a closer look. From Chad Finn of Boston.com:
“I like the city a lot,’’ said the Thunder superstar and potential object of every cap-room-possessing NBA franchise’s affection this offseason. “It’s cold but they love sports here. It’s a family atmosphere I feel when I walk around the city. So yeah, I like it a lot.’’ […]
“I’ve been watching this team a lot,’’ he said. “And they’re scrappy. They play hard. They love their coach, they love their system, and especially in this building they play with a lot of energy.’’
Then there’s what Durant said in an ESPN interview that aired on last Wednesday’s broadcast:
These are all very positive things to say about the Boston Celtics. Yet they are also cliched, prepackaged answers — everyone knows that Boston sports fans are passionate, that Brad Stevens’s team plays hard, and that the Celtics experience is tied up in a long tradition of success. It’s the equivalent of showing up at Yankee Stadium and praising Babe Ruth. Plus, as ESPN’s Royce Young wrote earlier this week, KD has said equally (if not more) meaningful things about Oklahoma City.
It’s entirely possible, if perhaps unlikely, that Durant would rather not play with another superstar and will seriously consider Boston when he takes meetings this summer. However, it is important to enter any rumor-filled process with a healthy amount of cynicism. Do not assume that every positive statement is a sign of intent.
With that in mind, here is a guide to what top-level free agents could say to respectfully dismiss talk of joining up with the other 29 NBA teams.
Brooklyn Nets: “Jay-Z brought cred to this franchise. He left the brand so much stronger than when he came to it. And I try to live my life in the same way.”
New York Knicks: “It’s one of those arenas. That’s the biggest lights. It’s Broadway. Madison Square Garden is the mecca of basketball, so it’s always great going there and perform in front of a lot of fans.” (Thank you, Rajon Rondo.)
Toronto Raptors: “I like Drake.”
Philadelphia 76ers: “We’re talking about the cradle of liberty. And free agency’s all about freedom.”
Cleveland Cavaliers: “When I look at LeBron, I know this city must be special. No one would be so committed to winning a title if it wasn’t. I’m hoping to check out the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame some day.”
Chicago Bulls: “Players know what winning in Chicago can mean. Just look at how much the city still reveres Michael Jordan. I go to his steak house every time I’m here.”
Detroit Pistons: “Stan’s building something real here. They’re just one player away.”
Indiana Pacers: “Every kid in this state has a basketball hoop. That love of the game can’t be faked.”
Milwaukee Bucks: “There’s a lot of young talent on hand. A bright future. Giannis … Jabari … Michael Carter-Williams has a signature dress shoe.”
Miami Heat: “I can’t even lie to you. I already worked out a deal to join the Heat this summer.”
Orlando Magic: “You can’t deny the allure of Epcot.”
Atlanta Hawks: “Coach Budenholzer is a disciple of Gregg Popovich. He has that championship pedigree. And I hear Future shows up sometimes.”
Charlotte Hornets: “It’s amazing how Michael Jordan has gone from player to owner. Some day I hope to get his advice on how to make that transition myself.”
Washington Wizards: “Any time you take the court you could be playing in front of the leader of the free world. That’s so much bigger than the league.”
Houston Rockets: “I’ve never really cared for the mid-range. NBA Jam was my game.”
Dallas Mavericks: “I feel like I know Mark Cuban because of ‘Shark Tank.’ He doesn’t go for the royalty deals. That’s my kind of dude.”
New Orleans Pelicans: “You know what was really underrated? ‘Treme.'”
Memphis Grizzlies: “This team has real passion. They give it their all no matter who’s wearing the uniform.”
San Antonio Spurs: “There’s something appealing about the ability to focus on basketball. To leave the glamor and fame behind. To fade into the night.”
Portland Trail Blazers: “Dame Lillard’s a friend of mine. I know C.J. a little, too. The other guys … uh, I’m not so familiar with their names, but they seem cool.”
Oklahoma City Thunder: “Everyone here is so nice.”
Utah Jazz: “I’m a big fan of clean living.”
Denver Nuggets: “The altitude is almost holy. It brings you closer to God.”
Minnesota Timberwolves: “Towns and Wiggins are future superstars. They’ll be competing for titles in a few years.”
Los Angeles Clippers: “Steve Ballmer demands respect. I’m a Windows man through and through.”
Los Angeles Lakers: “The history of the franchise is so rich. It’ll be a real honor for whoever gets to build on Kobe’s legacy and be that next Lakers icon.”
Golden State Warriors: “They’re potentially building a dynasty. I can’t help but respect that as a competitor.”
Phoenix Suns: “Purple and orange are bold colors. And I love to take risks.”
Sacramento Kings: “My agent tells me their checks go through just fine.”
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Eric Freeman is a writer for Ball Don’t Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter!
