The most expensive Super Bowl souvenirs will set you back plenty

SAN FRANCISCO—The NFL Shop at the Super Bowl is the size of an airplane hangar, large enough to host every kind of souvenir imaginable. The NFL has slapped a Super Bowl 50 logo on pretty much every kind of consumer product that’s not actively on fire. Now, you could grab some $35 t-shirts or $3 bumper stickers, but for the serious (and overly monied) Super Bowl fan, items with a two-digit price tag just won’t do.

Tucked into one corner of the NFL Shop is the NFL VIP Lounge, a shopping nook so exclusive you can’t even get in unless you spend $300 on NFL goods. (Or, uh, have a media pass.) Let’s look behind the velvet rope at the Super Bowl’s priciest souvenirs. And no, a ticket isn’t the costliest item. Not even close.

Put your hand on your wallet, and let’s enter the domain of disposable mortgage payments …

Super Bowl Wine

A delicious blend of leather and turf. It’ll knock you out! But not in a concussion-generating sense. Definitely not. Price: $150 per bottle.

Super Bowl Patch Jacket

Want to look like you got down on the ground and rolled around in Super Bowl logos? Of course you do! Be the envy of grandmothers’ couches everywhere! Price: $250.

Super Bowl Champion Watches

Want to sport a watch honoring your Super Bowl-winning team? Here you go! Only 50 watches made for each Super Bowl. Buy ’em fast! Price: $449.

Super Bowl Helmet

Fancy helmet suitable for getting autographs or clocking people who aren’t wearing helmets. Probably not recommended for competitive play. Price: $499.

Super Bowl Sparkly Jacket

This one’s just made for the owner’s box. TV cameras will find you from across the stadium! Price: $499.

Gold Football

You’re going to buy this, and your kid is going to take it out in the street and play with it. Fun! Price: $999.

Super Bowl Pin Set

Pin-swapping is quite the activity at the NFL Shop, but why bother swapping pins to get your favorites when you can just buy the whole damn set at once? Price: $1,499.

Super Bowl Guitar

Because nothing says “rock!” like a Super Bowl logo on a four-figure guitar. Price: $1800.

Super Bowl Clutches

This cute little model comes in two variants: an NFL logo-only one, and an individual team one. Seems pretty pricey for the Browns one. Price: NFL logo only: $3,500; individual teams: $4,200. Each.

Artsy Super Bowl Helmet

This one is sweet: a multimedia, multidimensional creation of the Super Bowl’s official artist. Don’t know if it’s sweet enough to part with a year’s worth of car payments, but sweet nonetheless. Price: $5,750.

Super Bowl Coins

Here we go: the priciest item in the entire Super Bowl catalogue. The small gold coin at right will set you back $4,999. The monster one…well, it’s 1 of 1, put it that way. Price: $49,999. Yes. Fifty Thousand Dollars.

Tiffany Football

This one’s priceless. Literally. You can’t buy it. Which is good, because this beauty is probably worth a small Central American nation. And you’d just get fingerprints on it, you slob. Price: Priceless.

So there you go. Who’s ready for some exclusive Super Bowl merchandise?

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