AFC, NFC title picks: Cardinals or Panthers? Can Broncos stun Patriots? – CBSSports.com

After watching four crazy NFL games over the weekend, I finally took a break from football on Monday and watched the Bachelor. It was the worst decision I’ve ever made.

Basically, I spent an hour of my life watching a show I hate, which means I almost have worse time management skills than Andy Reid. What I did was the equivalent of running a six-minute offense when there’s only four minutes left in the game, which I’m pretty sure is exactly what Reid and the Chiefs did against New England.

I’m not going to talk about that anymore, though, because there are way more important things to talk about this week like BRADY-MANNING XVII.

Thanks to our social team for that fun graphic.

Anyway, I could sit here and talk about Peyton Manning‘s football skills and compare them to Tom Brady‘s, but I’m not going to do that right now. There’s time and a place for that, which will be in about five minutes, depending on how fast you read.

Right now, I’m going to compare the acting skills of Brady and Manning because this will probably be the final time they ever play each other, which mean this is the final time I’ll be able to do this.

Let’s start with Peyton, because watching him throw footballs at kids never stops being funny.

Another thing that never stops being funny is Tom Brady’s Boston accent. You can try and convince yourself that he doesn’t have one, but he does, and it really comes out in the video below.

OK, that’s enough videos for one week, let’s get to the picks and figure out who’s going to play in Super Bowl 50.

Actually, before we do that, let me remind you that you can check out the AFC and NFC title game picks from every CBSSports.com expert by clicking here.

You should click over this week to check out the picks from my CBSSports.com colleague Jared Dubin. I mentioned this last week, but I don’t think I was clear, so I’m going to mention it again this week: Dubin is basically the Joe Flacco of NFL playoff picks.

“January Joe” does absolutely nothing during the regular season and there’s no reason to believe he can succeed in the playoffs, but then he does. That’s Dubin.

After another 4-0 week, Dubin is now 8-0 picking playoff games this year and 7-1 against the spread. Dubin is basically printing money at his apartment with those picks, which is good news because he lives in New York City, so he probably needs that money for rent.

Anyway, let’s get to my picks, which will hopefully be better than Dubin’s.

at

No. 2 New England (13-4) at No. 1 Denver (13-4)
Sunday, January 24, 3:05 p.m. ET (CBS)

Patriots fans will be partying if New England wins on Sunday. (Instagram/Carriglb)

When the Broncos beat the Patriots back in November, Tom Brady was basically throwing the ball to himself and New England still almost won the game. Brady didn’t have Danny Amendola or Julian Edelman in that game and he also lost Rob Gronkowski for the final three minutes of regulation and all of overtime.

Brady will have his full arsenal of weapons on Sunday, so on the surface, this game seems to have blowout written all over it — OR DOES IT? For some reason, Brady and the Patriots have struggled in Denver over the years. Since 2001, Brady is 2-6 in Denver, which includes an 0-2 record in the playoffs.

I’m guessing it’s the altitude. I tried to run a mile once in Denver and I gave up after eight feet.

If the Broncos are going to win, they’re going to need a big game from Peyton Manning, which wouldn’t be completely crazy. Manning might’ve looked average against the Steelers, but he was actually pretty good if you consider the fact his receivers dropped seven passes and that he was playing his first full game in over two months.

For a guy who should’ve been rusty, Manning didn’t look too rusty, and you have to think, he’s only going to look better on Sunday now that he has a full game under his belt. The downside for Manning is that the Patriots will be on to him if he tries his secret play where he goes full possum.

A lot of people will probably point out this week that Manning is 5-11 all-time against Brady, however, it’s probably also worth noting that the overall record between the two quarterbacks is 2-2 in postseason games, with the home team winning each time.

Manning’s at home this week.

Back in August, my bosses here at CBS Sports asked me to predict who would win the Super Bowl, and since I like my job, I obliged them. At the time, I picked the Broncos and here’s what I wrote:

Peyton Manning is too old to carry the team, which usually would be a negative thing, but it’s good news for the Broncos this year because he shouldn’t have to… There’s a good chance Denver’s defense will be able to carry the team when Manning’s 39-year-old body starts to fall apart in Week 13.

Manning’s body actually started to fall apart in Week 10, but other than that, I thought I was pretty spot on. If I could go back in time and talk to my August-self, I think he’d tell me to stick with my pick.

I hated my August-self though. He had a bad haircut.

The Pick: Patriots 23-20 over Broncos.

An ugly game from Peyton Manning could drive Broncos fans to drinking. (Instagram/sextononthebeach)

Record picking New England games this season: 12-5

Record picking Denver games this season: 8-9

at

No. 2 Arizona (14-3) at No. 1 Carolina (16-1)
Sunday, January 24, 6:40 p.m. ET (FOX)

Bank of America Stadium will be the place to be on Sunday. (Instagram/ErinBethCurtis)

It seems almost impossible that 12 months ago, these same two teams played in what will go down in world history as the worst playoff game of all time. I’ve never wanted three hours back more in my life.

In that January 2015 game, some guy named Ryan Lindley quarterbacked the Cardinals in a game the Panthers won 27-16. I still don’t know who Ryan Lindley is.

This year, we’re basically getting the opposite of what we had last year. There’s no Lindley, but there is Carson Palmer, which means, for the first time in NFL history, we’re getting a playoff game with two Heisman-winning quarterbacks starting against each other. I know, most people were hoping that Tebow-Manziel would take that honor, but too bad, we’re getting Newton-Palmer and you’re going to enjoy it because these were the two best quarterbacks in the NFL all year.

If the Panthers can’t put pressure on Palmer, then they’re going to lose. Although Palmer’s 40-time is about the same as my grandma’s, he’ll definitely pick the Panthers apart if he has time to throw.

On the other hand, the closest thing Arizona has seen to Cam Newton this year is Russell Wilson and the Cardinals couldn’t figure out how to stop him in their regular season finale.

Picking an NFC title game has practically been a crapshoot recently. Over the past eight years, all eight games have been decided by one score and four of those have gone into overtime. Basically, I think I’m going to have to go with the team that hasn’t lost at home in over a year.

Cam Newton’s first career start came against the Cardinals. Newton’s first career playoff win came against the Cardinals, so it only seems fitting that he’d earn his first Super Bowl trip by beating the Cardinals.

The Pick: Panthers 27-24 over Cardinals.

Also, I have to say that I’m glad Ron Rivera wasn’t taking coaching advice from any elementary school kids last offseason because that could’ve meant disaster for the Panthers his year.

The good news for that elementary school kid is that he can have my job when I retire because, if the commenters are correct, and they usually are, getting things wrong is basically what I’m paid to do.

Record picking Carolina games this season: 10-7

Record picking Arizona games this season: 10-7

Cardinals fans will be praying that my pick is wrong. (Instagram/Da_shz)

Last Week

Best Pick: Last week, I predicted the Packers would score 20 points and lose to the Cardinals and guess what happened? The Packers scored 20 points and lost to the Cardinals.

Did I know that Aaron Rodgers was going to throw a Hail Mary for a touchdown on the final play of regulation? Of course I did. That’s literally the only play in the Packers playbook that actually works regularly.

The biggest surprise in the game wasn’t Rodgers’ Hail Mary, though, it was the fact that the head referee botched the coin toss before overtime. All he had to do was flip the coin and somehow, he managed to mess that up. Instead of “flipping” the coin, the ref tossed it flat like a frisbee.

I’m not sure what the first thing they teach you at ref school is, but I feel like the coin toss is probably up there, and if it’s not, it should be. As a matter of fact, you shouldn’t even be allowed in ref school if you can’t flip a coin.

Even Bruce Arians was mystified by what happened with the coin.

If NFL refs can’t handle the coin toss, then the league needs to get rid of coin tosses. I suggest replacing them with monkeys riding dogs. I have no idea how that’d work, but we can figure it out.

Worst Pick: The Seahawks were so bad on Sunday that I’m never picking a West Coast team to win an Eastern Time Zone playoff game that kicks off at 1 p.m. ET ever again, ESPECIALLY if that team is Seattle.

I don’t care if Russell Wilson downs an entire keg of recovery water before the game because not even Nanobubbles can help the Seahawks when they play in the Eastern Time Zone.

In the six seasons that Pete Carroll has coached the Seahawks, Seattle has played in four road playoff games that kicked off at 1 p.m. ET (10 a.m. PT) and in those four games, the Seahawks have been outscored 75-0 in the first half.

LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN: 75-0!!!!!!!!!!!

If I had looked that stat up before the game, I would’ve known the Panthers were going to steamroll the Seahawks in the first half and I would’ve picked Carolina.

Unfortunately, I didn’t look that stat up because I was too busy trying to figure out what I was going to buy you guys if I won the Powerball, which didn’t even happen, so last week was basically the worst week ever. No one gets a cat. No one gets Super Bowl tickets and I’m going to have to wait on buying the car from Dude, Where’s My Car, which is what I would’ve done with the leftover Powerball money that didn’t go toward a cat or a Super Bowl ticket. In the end, we all lost. Except for Carolina. And those three people that won the Powerball.

As for why the Seahawks are so horrible in the Eastern Time Zone, I should’ve known it was going to happen, even without that 75-0 stat.

Last month, I flew from California to Ohio to spend Christmas with my family, which is usually a good time except the whole thing that happens at 6 a.m. ET every morning when my 5-year-old nephew wakes me up because it’s time to watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

When that happens, I have to explain to him the concept of time zones, which never goes well.

ME: “Oliver, it’s 3 a.m. in California, I need to sleep.”

Oliver: “Where’s California?”

ME: “It’s three time zones away.”

Oliver: “What’s a time zone?”

ME: “A time zone is what allows Santa to make all of his deliveries around the world in one night.”

Oliver: “Is Santa real?”

ME: “You know what, forget everything I said. Let’s just watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates.”

I then spend the rest of the trip with an IV of coffee, 5-hour Energy and Red Bull connected to my body because that’s what your body needs when it thinks it’s waking up at 3 a.m.

I know how you feel, Seahawks.

Picks Record

Playoffs

Straight up in Divisional Round: 3-1

SU Overall in playoffs: 6-2

Against the Spread in Divisional Round: 0-4

ATS Overall in playoffs: 3-5

Final 2015 Regular Season Record

Straight up: 152-104

Against the spread: 126-130

Exact score predictions this season: 2

You can find John Breech on Twitter or on Facebook and if he’s not doing one of those two things, he’s probably watching the Bachelor, even though he claimed he doesn’t like it.

This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service – if this is your content and you’re reading it on someone else’s site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.