Here’s A-Rod at his desk at ARod Corp. and we have some questions
When your career earnings are roughly $500 million, it might be easy to opt for the leisured life. That’s not the case for New York Yankees designated hitter Alex Rodriguez. Though A-Rod has made more money than many of us will make in a lifetime, he continues to have a tireless work ethic.
The above picture shows A-Rod putting in some time at “ARod Corp.” It was sent out at 12:37 a.m., so it appears Rodriguez has been burning the candle at both ends lately. There is no offseason for A-Rod.
While we here at The Stew admire A-Rod’s relentless business acumen, we also have a few questions regarding this photo.
1. What exactly does ARod Corp. do?
We have no doubt that running ARod Corp. is serious business, but we have no idea what the company does. Are they into importing/exporting? Do they sell baseballs signed by A-Rod? We’re confused. If A-Rod ever had to meet with the Bobs from “Office Space,” we’re guessing he might have trouble explaining himself.
[Elsewhere: Jessica Mendoza is your permanent Sunday Night Baseball analyst]
2. What is A-Rod like as a boss?
If someone from ARod Corp. wants to contact us for an expose, we’ll gladly run with it. Your anonymity is guaranteed. Seriously, though, what’s it like to work for A-Rod? We see a mug on his desk, but it doesn’t look like a “World’s Best Boss” mug. Is A-Rod a bad boss, or is he too modest to display a mug that professes his glory? Does he engage in water cooler talk with his employees? Does he encourage wacky, tacky tie Friday?
3. What is A-Rod looking at on the computer?
Is it a list of all his offshore bank accounts? Is it a spreadsheet detailing the company’s latest figures? Is it a video of a tortoise riding a skateboard? It could just be an endless loop of his career highlights. In fact, we’re going to assume that’s it.
4. Who took this picture?
One of the best things about Johnny Cueto’s tremendous Instagram account is that it’s clear someone else is taking most of the pictures for Cueto. The same thing applies here. A-Rod is too far away from the camera to have taken the photo, so who did this? Does ARod Corp. employ a full-time photographer? Was the photo spontaneous, or was it posed?
[Elsewhere: Not again: Early projections aren’t kind to the Kansas City Royals]
5. Is ARod Corp. hiring?
We’ll be honest, we don’t care if we have no idea what the company does, we want to work for A-Rod. We’re willing to get coffee and pick up Mr. Rod’s dry cleaning, just give us a job. We’re proficient in … importing and exporting? We’ll work weekends and late nights if needed. When Mr. Rod says “have it on my desk by 5 p.m., we’ll have it on his desk at 4:50 p.m. When he says jump, we’ll say “how high.” It’s clear from the picture that big things are happening at ARod Corp., and we just really want to be a part that. Consider this paragraph our cover letter.
6. Why does this picture look so familiar?
Oh, right. That will do it.
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Chris Cwik is a writer for Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter! Follow @Chris_Cwik
