With ‘The Final Boss’ here, let’s examine the best MLB nicknames
Major League Baseball players will finally get their change to conquer “The Final Boss.”
The St. Louis Cardinals officially introduced reliever Seung-hwan Oh on Monday. While the 33-year-old compiled some strong stats in Nippon Professional Baseball, the best thing about him is his excellent nickname.
Oh’s nickname immediately vaults into the top-5 among current players. It’s not only intimidating, but it’s fitting, considering he was a closer in both Korea and Japan. Oh probably won’t close games with St. Louis, but the nickname can still work if he’s a shut-down set-up man.
[Elsewhere: Miss baseball? Here’s when all 30 teams will report for spring training]
Now that “The Final Boss” has arrived, we here at The Stew thought it might be a good idea to revisit some of the best nicknames in the games. We’re limiting our list to current players, as we would be here all day if we included great, old-timey names.
With that said, let’s dive into it.
DAVID ORTIZ, BOSTON RED SOX
NICKNAME: BIG PAPI
This is arguably the most popular and recognizable nickname in the game right now. Your aunt who knows nothing about baseball is most likely to know David Ortiz’s nickname than any other player’s nickname, we’re guessing. There are some sexual overtones here, but that’s fine, considering Ortiz once said he would like to be a porn star. If you take the translation literally, “Big Daddy” seems like an appropriate moniker for a guy who has hit 503 career home runs.
JOSE BAUTISTA, TORONTO BLUE JAYS
NICKNAME: JOEY BATS
In fairness, this one is a bit boring. The reason we love it is that it definitely gets the point across. There’s something elegant about Jose Bautista’s nickname being so simple. It’s also incredibly easy to explain to your friend. “Why is this guy nicknamed ‘Joey Bats,'” they might ask as Bautista steps to the plate. By the time the at-bat is over, they already know the answer.
BILLY BUTLER, OAKLAND ATHLETICS
NICKNAME: COUNTRY BREAKFAST
This one makes sense. At 6-foot-1, 240 pounds, Billy Butler is a large man who hails from Florida. One imagines he enjoys a large plate of breakfast food each morning. Some days, he might even eat two. In another life, Butler wears flannel shirts and is the biggest, baddest truck driver around. He pulls into a rest stop and all the other truckers whisper rumors to each other. “Did you hear about the time “Country Breakfast” ate 45 pancakes in a single sitting? I heard he once downed a five pound breakfast burrito in three minutes!” You get the idea.
PABLO SANDOVAL, BOSTON RED SOX
NICKNAME: KUNG FU PANDA
The resemblance is uncanny. We can’t help it if Pablo Sandoval looks exactly like Po from “Kung Fu Panda”. The two share a lot of similarities, actually. Despite their size, both are remarkably agile. They are also good at what they do, and know how to hit hard. It’s also worth noting that Sandoval has been excellent both years a “Kung Fu Panda” movie was released. He hit .345 in his brief stint as a rookie in 2008, and hit .315/.357/.552 in 2011. Perhaps a return to glory is in order now that “Kung Fu Panda 3” is slated for a 2016 release.
EVAN GATTIS, HOUSTON ASTROS
NICKNAME: EL OSO BLANCO
“The White Bear” seems like a fitting nickname for a man who stands 6-foot-4 and weighs 260 pounds. It also helps that Gattis, like a bear, has power for days. He looks intimidating, but he can also back it up. And if you thought for a second that his bulk would prevent him from being agile, you may want to reconsider. Gattis racked up 11 triples last season. This bear can run!
FELIX HERNANDEZ, SEATTLE MARINERS
NICKNAME: KING FELIX
Here’s another simple one that gets straight to the point. Over 11 years in the majors, Felix Hernandez has a 3.11 ERA and 2142 strikeouts in 2,262 1/3 innings. He’s also won a Cy Young award and tossed a perfect game. If those accomplishments aren’t worthy of pitching royalty, we’re not sure what sport you’re watching. It’s good to be “King.”
MIKE TROUT, LOS ANGELES ANGELS
NICKNAME: THE MILLVILLE METEOR
Ok, we admit, this one isn’t all that popular, but we’re hoping it will catch on. As far as we can tell, the nickname originated from a Twitter user known as @weed_mouse. Trout has apparently latched on to it, occasionally signing baseballs with the nickname. Trout is fast and exciting, like a meteor, and hails from Millville, New Jersey, so the name makes sense. On top of that, Trout is really into weather, which makes the whole meteor thing more significant. It’s not the most mainstream nickname on the list, but it’s a good one.
FRANKLIN GUTIERREZ, SEATTLE MARINERS
NICKNAME: DEATH TO FLYING THINGS
After missing all of 2014, Franklin Gutierrez was able to return in 2015. That’s great, because it gives us a reason to put him on this list. Back in 2009, the Mariners shocked the baseball world by winning 85 games. This was mostly credited to the team’s defensive turnaround. At the center of that was Gutierrez. The center fielder had so much range that he received the fantastic nickname “Death to Flying Things.” Injuries have held him back in recent years, but his nickname remains strong.
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Chris Cwik is a writer for Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter! Follow @Chris_Cwik
