The Sedins, being Steve Yzerman and All-Star John Scott (Puck Daddy Countdown)
(Ed. Note: The column formerly known as the Puck Daddy Power Rankings. Ryan Lambert takes a look at some of the biggest issues and stories in the NHL, and counts them down.)
8. “The Sedins are soft!”
So Daniel Sedin got hit in the mouth by a puck on Monday night, knocked out a few teeth, looked extremely gruesome on the bench.
And then he comes back and scores a goal? This is the Paul Kariya Got Knocked Out Then Went And Scored Six Minutes After Returning To The Game of early January losses to the Arizona Coyotes.
The fact that there are still people in this league who would dare say the Sedins are soft tells you an awful lot about how people view this sport (stupidly) and what they think gives you the qualities you need to be a hockey player (being a non-Quebec Canadian).
I went to a college game the other night and I swear to god there was a roughly 60-year-old guy with a neon yellow sign that said something like, “Soccer players fake injuries, hockey players play through them.” This seemed to be apropos of nothing; there were no soccer players in the crowd to my knowledge, and certainly none with a history of diving. But dude was waving that sign around throughout the game and it’s like, “Hmm, do you think maybe this has to do with the sport’s inferiority complex and not a whole lot more?” Also, again, the guy was at least 60.
Oh and here’s brother Henrik talking about his nice twin taking a puck in the mouth and losing a few teeth: “A few teeth is not a big deal. That shouldn’t stop you from playing.”
So, I don’t know. Seems to me like we’re still dealing with that whole LEBRON IS A COWARD stuff on some level and the fact that anyone has to say “The Sedins are tough and here’s proof” tells you an awful lot. It’s 2016. Good lord.
7. Winter Classic ratings
Yeah, you’re always going to take a ratings hit when you bring in a Canadian club, just because ratings in Canada don’t count for NBC.
But with that said, and adding in the fact that this game was a blowout and all the other mitigating factors, I don’t see how you can be happy with a ratings decline as big as the one the 2016 Winter Classic suffered. Maybe it’s time we just accept the fact that while the game is on national TV and is a big deal in the individual cities, people care about this only slightly more than they would, say, a Bruins/Canadiens game played inside in front of 17,565 at TD Garden.
The problem with the Winter Classic too is that this was the best-played one in years, and probably ever, from a technical perspective. The previous day brought bad ice conditions, and there were a few complaints about the wind on the broadcast, but these concerns were minor. Players thought the ice surface was in perfectly good shape, and Tuukka Rask (who might have had more reason than most to look for an excuse or two) said the conditions were not in any way an issue for him.
But people weren’t going to know this was a well-played game if they didn’t tune in, and many more likely didn’t stick around for the game’s second half given that the result was never in question.
So yeah, mitigating circumstances and everything like that, but also: Just not a great number.
6. Watching tape
Yo, let’s say you’re out there looking for an NHL head coaching job maybe. And let’s say you’re coaching a team you controversially hand-picked to be a little gritty at the bottom of the lineup while leaving some super-skilled players home. And let’s say someone asks you what your game plan is for an important match against one of the top teams in the world.
One thing you definitely do not say is, “I haven’t watched any tape on these guys and couldn’t pick one of ’em out of a lineup.” That is, unless you are Ron Wilson.
This is just my thoughts here but perhaps watching game tape is an important aspect of coaching. I don’t know. I’m not a coach.
Anyway, good luck Ron Wilson, on that NHL coaching search.
5. John Scott, the All-Star Captain
The pearl-clutching in the hockey community the last few days about John Scott The All-Star has been great.
Yep, everyone’s laughing at John Scott for being a living representation of the worst part of the sport and here’s his response:
How endearing! Can’t wait to see him in the skills competition, because unlike everyone else in the game, he’s going to annihilate the Eating Press Box Popcorn and Taking An Extra Few Laps At The End Of Practice competitions.
Look, the All-Star Game is a joke and has been for years. Letting fans vote on these things is always dumb, so that’s been slowly stripped away for some time now. But even when they only get to pick the captains they embarrass the NHL. Now the league has an excuse to not allow that to happen any more, which is fine because, again, who really cares?
There is, however, no way that Scott isn’t allowed to score about 14 tap-in goals after Johnny Gaudreau goes through all three opponents. If these other players have any sense of humor at all they let him break the goals (4), assists (5), and points (6) records and take home the Honda Civic or whatever the prize is this year.
Now that would be funny.
4. Being Steve Yzerman
Must be nice to constantly alienate super-talented players and maybe have three leave town in the space of as many years, and no one says a bad word about you because you’re Steve Yzerman and you, I don’t know, won some Cups two decades ago? Also, though: You’ve built a good team? Also, how long can you keep it together?
Doesn’t matter though, you’re Patrick-Roy-in-Colorado bulletproof. Hockey’s fun like that.
3. This year’s World Junior tournament
Shout out to that super-fun Finland team, which took gold on home ice in extremely dramatic fashion and made Teemu Selanne happy. This was a really great tournament, front to back. Almost every game was dramatic and exciting in some way, even when the US was pummeling the tournament’s weaker siblings.
Especially because Canada didn’t win anything.
2. Blaming kids, who are only just kids!!!!!!
Speaking of which, it’s so great to see Canada squirm every time the team bombs out of the tournament. This year was particularly bad.
The best thing was Tom Renney, president and CEO of Hockey Canada, basically saying “Hey, look, we picked a really great team and a good coach and the kids blew it because they’re losers and what are ya gonna do?”
Okay, maybe that’s a bit simplistic and mean. Here’s the real quote:
“There is a point in time where that transfer of responsibility goes from the coach to the player and that’s the beauty of this event. We’re talking about teenagers that have to cope and deal with situations in the spontaneity of hockey that sometimes work against you and sometimes don’t. The bottom line is the coaching staff did an excellent job. At the end of the day, our special teams needed to maybe perform a little bit better. When your save percentage is under .900, everybody knows that it’s going to be tough to win.”
Ooooooooo, take that, teenagers. You’re too young to be criticized from outside, but the top Hockey Canada officials are more than happy to throw bombs at your immaturity.
Delicious.
1. Jarome Iginla
Man, SIX HUNDRED damn goals for a player who played basically his entire career in two separate Dead Puck Eras (if we’re calling the last four or five years by its real and actual name).
All blessings and honor to Jarome Arthur-Leigh Adekunle Tig Junior Elvis Iginla. He is a shining beacon in this sport and should be praised endlessly.
(Not ranked this week: Everyone in the Pacific who is not the Los Angeles Kings.
The Kings entered last night with 52 points and a 10-point lead on the second-place team in the division. That second-place team had 42 points, tied for 16th in the league. And somehow, it was only up five on the last-place team in the division. Two of the six non-Kings teams in the Pacific will make the playoffs, potentially ahead of a Central team like the Avalanche (41 points) or Winnipeg (38) that actually finishes higher in the standings. It’s truly outrageous.)
Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.
(All statistics via War On Ice unless otherwise noted.)
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