How to survive Thanksgiving as a baseball fan: Volume 2

It’s that time of year again: Thanksgiving!

The meaning of Thanksgiving is self-explanatory. It’s a day to celebrate all that we’re thankful for in life, with the added perks of gathering with friends and family to share laughs, eat turkey sandwiches and watch wall-to-wall football coverage.

All of that sounds perfect, unless of course you’re a baseball fan craving nachos, hot dogs, peanuts and actual baseball providing an escape. Sorry, folks, that’s not how it works. Thanksgiving will do little to satisfy those cravings. Instead, you’ll be stuck with Joe Buck and Phil Simms as background noise, and you’ll be reminded how far removed we are from the World Series, and how far we still are from spring training.

The reality is, dedicated fans of our national pastime are firmly entrenched in no man’s land, and there’s still no light at the end of the tunnel. It’s all about getting through another day, and in this case there’s no escape from football’s powerful clutches. That is, unless you follow our helpful suggestions to create that escape while fulfilling all of the expected obligations.

Last year we brought you the first installation of How to Survive Thanksgiving as a Baseball Fan. Now we bring you Volume 2.

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Teach the children how to properly say ‘meme’
Many of us didn’t realize mispronouncing the word ‘meme’ was a possibility. That was, until Bryce Harper granted an interview following his MVP announcement last week and proceeded to give us this.

It’s a reminder one should never assume anything. It’s also an indication that we need to start educating the kids early on words like meme and gif, because those words are the way of the future. Basically, don’t let your kids say mehmay. With the family all gathered, this is as good a day as any to work that out.

Hang out at Honeybaked Ham, wait for news
This actually worked for one Atlanta Braves fan last Christmas, although we think he was actually there for the ham. Regardless, Aaron Lunsford’s father ran into Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez while there and actually broke the news of A.J. Pierzynski’s initial signing with Atlanta. Granted, the odds of a major-league manager walking into your local Honeybaked Ham are thin, but if the family needs something, this is your chance to volunteer. When you return several hours later, just blame the long lines.  

Tune into MLB Network
The studio crew has the day off, but there’s still plenty of excellent content to enjoy. In fact, beginning at 12:00 p,m. ET, a two-hour special will air dedicated to all the best highlights from the 2015. And if that’s not enough, you can stick around another half-hour and enjoy MLB Bloopers: Volume 2.

Following that, it’s movie marathon time with Eight Men Out, Major League II and Mr. Baseball. Granted, we may have preferred Major League the original, but at least it’s not Major League 3. The Sandlot would be cool too, but every diehard probably has that on VHS or DVD anyway.

Practice your bat flipping
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be touch football in the backyard. Bust out the wiffle ball bat, take aim at the neighbor’s fence and then launch that bat like you’re Jose Bautista in the ALDS. It’s an acitivty even the kids can enjoy and it’ll work off those turkey sandwiches before dessert.

[Related: Win your Christmas party with the Jose Bautista bat flip sweater]

Play Fallout 4 as David Ortiz while you can
Scrabble is still the game of choice here, but if you’re a video gamer you’ll want to get in as much Fallout 4 as you possibly can before the David Ortiz mod disappears. As the Stew’s Chris Cwik explained, MLB officials aren’t happy with Ortiz’s likeness popping up on the game, saying it infringes on the league’s trademarks. That means he’ll soon be gone from the fighting scene in post-apocalyptic in Boston, so get those licks in while you can.

Catch up on Big League Stew
You can’t go wrong here, folks, especially if you have hours of traveling ahead of you.

The Stew has all the latest news, in-depth looks at every major award handed out last week and free agency previews as the winter meetings approach. If you don’t want it to seem like you’re staring at your phone or laptop all day, just pop in some earbuds and catch up on the StewPod hosted by Mike Oz and Chris Cwik. Stuff your face with turkey and all the trimmings, then stuff your brain with baseball wisdom. 

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Mark Townsend is a writer for Big League Stew on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter! Follow @Townie813