The Sacramento Kings’ baby race is a good way to spend 70 seconds
You know how basketball games almost never have enough instances in which, like, a baker’s dozen babies get lined up on the court for a crawling race to find out which baby is the fastest? I know. It’s like, “Ugh, basketball is so close to perfect, and yet here’s this one obvious necessity that’s missing.” Well, the Sacramento Kings recognized that last season, bless their buttons, and on Sunday, they resumed the business of giving the people what they want:
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Last month’s casting call for “the region’s fastest toddlers” produced quite a group of contestants, all of whom definitely knew what was going on and none of whom were very frightened by everyone making such loud noises. The contestant in the No. 4 bib — which, for purposes of clarity, was not an actual bib — jumped out to a sizable early lead before stalling out. Perhaps she cramped up. Perhaps she began to feel overwhelmed by the pressure. Perhaps she did not know that she was close to the finish line and the victory, because all of those concepts were foreign to her.
Whatever the case may be, she was overtaken by the baby in the No. 5 bib, who fought through the additional drag and wind resistance produced by a purple tutu en route to victory. The babies who did not win the race appeared to be gracious in defeat, proving once again that we often-sniping adults would do well to look to the youth for corrective directives on how to approach our day-to-day lives. Congratulations to all involved.
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After the race ended, the Kings went on to win their basketball game by scoring more points than the Toronto Raptors. Near as we can tell, no babies were involved in the completion of that contest, though DeMarcus Cousins did finish with 36 points, 10 rebounds, three assists and three blocked shots, and he is a Friend Of Babies:
In conclusion: more NBA teams should involve babies in their in-game entertainment, because babies doing stuff is pretty great.
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Dan Devine is an editor for Ball Don’t Lie on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter!
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