NFL Week 9 picks: Eagles over Cowboys, Raiders stun Steelers – CBSSports.com
I’m not saying the 49ers have given up on their season, but I’d like to thank the 49ers for giving up on their season.
The team has apparently decided to bench quarterback Colin Kaepernick in favor of Blaine Gabbert this week and if that’s not waving the white flag, I don’t know what it is. This is good news for anyone making picks though because you don’t even really have to put any thought into your 49ers picks anymore!
If you forgot Gabbert existed because he hasn’t started a game since October 2013, let me give you a quick refresher: He has a 5-22 career record and has thrown more interceptions (24) than touchdowns (23) during his five-year career.
It’s almost enough to make a 49ers fan want to down as much alcohol as possible, which is basically what Julian Edelman did at a Celtics game recently.
@stoolpresidente how about Edelman being a complete savage at the Celtics tonight pic.twitter.com/7sgQPqxab2
— Jared (@J_Fudge) October 31, 2015
That might be the best JumboTron chugging by anyone, ever.
It’s fun to see Edelman get to act so normal in a social setting, which is the opposite of what two fans did at the Panthers game on Monday. Somehow, two people in Charlotte snuck rappelling equipment into Bank of America Stadium and then did this.
Fans got through stadium security with climbing gear?!? Any guesses what their sign will say? #MNF #RappellingFans pic.twitter.com/tCLVYIS9ko
— Arian Gibson (@ariangibson) November 3, 2015
Disappointingly, they were not filiming a sequel to either Cliffhanger or Spider-Man.
It turned out that the two people were protesters who were trying to unfurl a sign in front of the stadium’s pressbox. I’d say the plan only about 50 percent worked, which will probably be roughly equal to how the 49ers plan with Gabbert works out.
If protestors were really clever they’d have hung up a “2014 AFC South Champions” banner. https://t.co/H8b5ls2EvC pic.twitter.com/2ljYoPpEqf
— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) November 3, 2015
Anyway, let’s forget those protesters and get to the picks, where the only thing anyone will be protesting are my bad jokes.
Actually, before we get to the picks, here’s your weekly reminder that you can check out the picks from every CBSSports.com NFL Expert by clicking here.
The reason you should click over and check out the other experts this week is because Pete Prisco put us all to shame. The CBSSports.com Senior NFL writer went an amazing 12-2 with his picks in Week 8 — and to be honest, I’m not that ashamed that Prisco beat me because I’m 40 percent sure that he’s been making picks longer than I’ve been alive. He’s experienced.
If you want to use Prisco’s picks this week, I suggest following him on Twitter.
I studied all Andrew Luck’s throws this season to find out what’s wrong. Here’s what I saw: https://t.co/7QeXl8tKZl
— Pete Prisco (@PriscoCBS) October 29, 2015
If you don’t want to use his picks, I suggest following him anyway because he tweets out great stories, like the one above. I picked the Colts to lose to the Panthers after reading Prisco’s piece.
Alright, now it’s time for the picks.
Week 9 Picks
This fan would probably love to see Luke Kuechly pick off Aaron Rodgers. (Instagram/sssssydneyy)
Green Bay (6-1) at Carolina (7-0), 1 p.m. ET (Fox): The Carolina Panthers have somehow put together an 11-game winning streak that dates back to Week 14 last season. It’s the longest regular season winning streak in the NFL since the Broncos won 17 in a row between 2012 and 2013.
The reason I’m pointing this out is because I was thinking about picking the Panthers this week, but then I remembered that I really only follow three rules in life and one of them involves never picking Aaron Rodgers to lose after he just lost because it almost never happens. Rodgers just doesn’t lose two games in a row.
In 2014, the Packers lost four times and in the four games after those losses, Green Bay went 4-0 and Rodgers averaged 320.3 yards and 3.5 touchdowns. In 2013, the Packers lost their season opener and then Rodgers went out the next week and threw for 480 yards and four touchdowns. I could go on talking about what Rodgers does after losses, but I won’t.
The last time Rodgers lost two consecutive regular season games was all the way back in 2010. Of course, the Panthers defense is good and it could do exactly what the Broncos defense did to Rodgers on Sunday and shut him down. I don’t see that happening though.
The Pick: Packers 23-20 over Panthers.
Vikings fans have a lot to smile about this year. (Instagram/blondy814)
St. Louis (4-3) at Minnesota (5-2), 1 p.m. ET (Fox): If you would’ve told me before the season started that the Vikings–Rams game in Week 9 would be one of only two games on the schedule that features two teams with a winning record, I would’ve probably not listened to anything you said because you’re a stranger and I probably thought it would’ve been crazy for you to be telling me about something that was going to happen nine weeks into the future.
Anyway, these two teams are so evenly matched, it’s scary. The defenses basically cancel each other (Ranked 6th and 7th in the NFL). Todd Gurley and Adrian Peterson basically cancel each other out, so basically, this game comes down to who has the better quarterback and let’s just say that when Nick Foles is playing in a game, he’s not the better quarterback about 95 percent of the time.
The Pick: Vikings 20-17 over Rams.
Raiders fans are excited about the team every year, but especially this year. (USATSI)
Oakland (4-3) at Pittsburgh (4-4), 1 p.m. ET (CBS): If Derek Carr was an actual car, he’d probably be a Ferrari, at least based on what he’s done over the past two weeks. In wins over the Chargers and Jets, Carr has thrown a total of seven touchdown passes and zero interceptions.
The problem with the Raiders this season is that they’re one of the most unpredictable teams in the NFL. One week, they’re blowing out the Jets. Then, in another week, they’re losing to the Bears. All that unpredictability has led the Raiders to a 4-3 record. A winning record in Oakland after seven weeks is a minor miracle, a miracle that has people in the city murmuring the word “playoffs.” (People in Oakland don’t want to jinx anything, so they’re only murmuring right now).
If the Raiders are going to be beat the Steelers, now would be the perfect time to do it since Pittsburgh will be adjusting to not having Le’Veon Bell. I hate picking the Raiders in east coast games because they’re 1-16 since December 2009 in the Eastern Time Zone, but I’m going to do it anyway because that’s what Al Davis would want — And no, I don’t usually base my picks on what deceased owners might want, I’m just doing it this time.
The Pick: Raiders 30-27 over Steelers.
Denver (7-0) at Indianapolis (3-5), 4:25 p.m. ET (CBS): Peyton Manning has probably had this game circled on his Papa John’s calendar since April, when the NFL released the 2015 schedule. Not only is Manning trying to win his first game ever over the Colts in Indy, but he’s probably still slightly upset about that divisional playoff loss the Colts handed him back in January.
The good news for Manning is that Andrew Luck is playing like he wants to see Chuck Pagano get fired. Luck leads the NFL in interceptions with 12 and there’s a good chance that number’s going to go up on Sunday against the Broncos top ranked defense. If Luck does end up throwing seven picks against Denver — and based on my math, there’s a 50 percent chance that happens — Manning just needs to make sure he’s not giving the ball back. The Broncos quarterback has thrown the second most interceptions (11) in the NFL this year, trailing only Luck. If you’re betting on the number of interceptions in this game, definitely take the over. If you’re betting on the number of Peyton Manning emoji’s I can send in a 24-hour period, also take the over.
The Pick: Broncos 24-17 over Colts.
So there’s now a Peyton Manning emoji, complete with a helmet mark on his forehead. Yep. pic.twitter.com/Wm8bbnwz5Q
— Nicki Jhabvala (@NickiJhabvala) October 28, 2015
Philadelphia (3-4) at Dallas (2-5), 8:30 p.m. ET (NBC): If you want to know how bad the Cowboys quarterback situation is, consider this: Tony Romo hasn’t played since Week 2 and he still leads the team in touchdown passes. You can take that as an explanation for how good Romo is or for how bad Brandon Weeden and Matt Cassel are. I’m going to choose the second one.
Over the past six weeks, Weeden (2) and Cassel (1) have combined to throw as many touchdown passes as Romo threw by himself in Week 1.
What this all means is that I’m sticking to my weekly rule of picking against Cowboys as long as Romo’s out. However, I should point out that Dallas did beat the Eagles in Week 2 even though the Cowboys didn’t have Dez Bryant or Greg Hardy. If the Eagles weren’t coming off a bye, I’d pick the Cowboys, but they are coming off a bye, which means Chip Kelly has had two weeks to modify his offense in such a way that Sam Bradford can at least somewhat function in it.
The pick: Eagles 23-20 over Cowboys.
The Cowboys need all the help they can get. (Instagram/Whatssofani)
Andy Dalton note: I was sitting at Arby’s on Monday eating some curly fries when I noticed that someone asked me a very important question on Twitter.
@johnbreech hey John, love your writeups for the expect picks. But what are we doing about Daytime Andy for week9? #TNF. prime time game lol
— Nii Sardis (@Adisco1910) November 2, 2015
This is a fantastic question… That I only answered because he complimented me.
If you’ve been reading my picks for the past eight weeks, you may have noticed that I have a strategy of picking Andy Dalton to win every afternoon game he plays in. This is called the “Daytime Dalton Theory” and it’s been proven many times over this season.
The problem with picking “Afternoon Andy” this week though is that he’s not playing in the afternoon: He’s playing on Thursday night.
When Dalton played on Thursday night last year, he finished with a 2.0 QB rating, which is really bad when you consider that there were probably people at Paul Brown Stadium who had a higher blood alcohol content.
Andy Dalton went 10-of-33, 86 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT, 2.0 passer rating. No QB has thrown 30+ passes with that low a rating in the last 30 years
— Michael David Smith (@MichaelDavSmith) November 7, 2014
So what should you do?
Dalton wasn’t that good against Pittsburgh and he probably doesn’t want to embarrass himself with another 2.0 QB rating, so I expect Afternoon Andy to redeem himself and roll in primetime on Thursday.
The Pick: Bengals 27-17 over Browns.
Week 9 picks: All the rest
Jets 20-13 over Jaguars
Giants 33-30 over Buccaneers
Falcons 17-13 over 49ers
Chargers 30-27 over Bears
Byes: Lions, Chiefs, Seahawks, Ravens, Texans, Cardinals
Last Week
Best Pick: Last week, I picked the Saints to win by three over the Giants and then the Saints went out and won by three over the Giants. It’s a good thing I didn’t take advice from Drew Brees‘ 6-year-old son on this pick because if I had, I would’ve gotten it wrong.
Brees’ son cheered for Eli, Odell in Saints’ win https://t.co/5QxTXVsKVp pic.twitter.com/vIDV8IKP3I
— Brady (@BradyBal714) November 2, 2015
And you know what, not only would I have gotten the pick wrong, but I would’ve felt super weird about it because WHY WOULD I HAVE BEEN TAKING NFL PICKS ADVICE FROM A SIX-YEAR-OLD?
Worst Pick: Last week I picked the Lions to beat the Chiefs by seven and then the opposite happened: The Lions LOST BY 35. I was so wrong on that game that I’m pretty sure my picks are now banned in England — And if they’re not, they should be, because I went 0-3 picking London games this year.
Starting next year, I’m not picking London games anymore. I’m also going to pretend London doesn’t exist.
Picks Record
Straight up in Week 8: 9-5
SU Overall: 73-46
Against the spread in Week 8: 6-8
ATS Overall: 55-64
Exact score predictions: 1
You can find John Breech on Twitter or on Facebook and if he’s not doing one of those two things, he’s probably trying to figure out the capital of England since it’s not London because London doesn’t exist.
This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service – if this is your content and you’re reading it on someone else’s site, please read the FAQ at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php#publishers.
