NFL Week 7 picks: Giants over Cowboys, Saints upset Colts – CBSSports.com
The NFL Network might’ve gone X-rated this week, but I promise that’s not going to happen here because this is a family website and the only thing we show in the buff are cats, like the one that someone brought to the Falcons-Saints game on Thursday.
OMG. It’s a real cat #wtf pic.twitter.com/LtsQAQjqxP
— Julie Couret (@JCWilloz) October 16, 2015
Sure, it’s well-known that cats like football, but that doesn’t answer all the questions here. For instance, why is this cat cheering for the Saints? If I was a cat and I had to choose a favorite NFL team, I’d choose the Lions , Bengals, Panthers or Jaguars and if I couldn’t pick a cat team, I’d pick anyone but the Browns because, well, for obvious reasons.
Browns mascot has figured out where his treats are kept and now he won’t stop licking his handler. pic.twitter.com/3IyPTIaeuY
— John Breech (@johnbreech) October 18, 2015
That being said, the NFL clearly needs to do a better job of outlining its policy of which animals are allowed in the stadium and which ones aren’t because while that cute little cat and the Browns mascot are both allowed in, apparently, raccoons are not welcome.
There has already been an ejection from the stands for tonight’s Eagles–Giants game. Photo via @AP_Images: pic.twitter.com/nnuAe3Zafn
— Philly.com Sports (@phillysport) October 19, 2015
That’s animal profiling if I’ve ever seen it. That raccoon didn’t ask to be born a raccoon.
Usually, I’m against raccoons being inside of football stadiums, but after what the Colts pulled on Sunday, I really think stadiums should be open to everyone, because honestly, a raccoon could’ve called a better fake punt than Colts Chuck Pagano did against New England.
Colts fake punt, TECMO remix. https://t.co/2OFcdZti7n
— Andrew Siciliano (@AndrewSiciliano) October 19, 2015
Here’s a list of plays I would’ve called instead of that play:
1. Annexation of Puerto Rico
2. Statue of Liberty
3. A handoff to the kicker
4. Anything else
The play was so bad that I’m actually afraid to pick the Colts to win ever again. What if Pagano calls that play EVERY TIME the Colts have the ball on Sunday. I can’t take that chance.
So now that you know I’m not picking Indy, it’s time to reveal the rest of my picks.
Before we get to the picks though, here’s your weekly reminder that you can check out the picks from every CBSSports.com NFL Expert by clicking here.
The reason you should click over and check out the other experts this week is because Dave Richard went on a roll last week. The CBSSports.com fantasy guru went 11-3 with his picks, which is actually amazing when you consider that he spends 104 percent of his time dispensing fantasy advice. To be honest, I’m not even sure when he has time to make his picks because when he’s not dispensing fantasy advice, he uses his free time to talk about dispensing fantasy advice.
You can follow Dave on Twitter by clicking here — or you can not click and we can get straight to my picks.
Week 7 picks
Colin Kaepernick still has plenty of fans in San Francisco. (USATSI)
Seattle (2-4) at San Francisco (2-4), 8:25 p.m. ET (CBS/NFL Network): There’s a good chance 49ers and Seahawks fans won’t even watch the fourth quarter of this game because that quarter’s been a nightmare for both fan bases this year.
In all four of Seattle’s losses, the Seahawks have had a lead at some point in the fourth quarter, only to blow it. Things are so bad right now that the guy who won Jeopardy 74 times in a row is even tweeting about how ugly things have gotten for the Seahawks in the fourth quarter.
That’s right, I’m your worst nightmare: the Seahawks with a fourth quarter lead
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) October 18, 2015
He didn’t tweet that in the form of a question though, so I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing for the Seahawks.
Anyway, things aren’t much better for the 49ers, either. In each of their four losses, they’ve been trailing going into the fourth quarter — and usually, it’s by a lot. Twenty points is a lot, right? OK, that’s what I thought and that’s what the 49ers have been trailing by, ON AVERAGE, at the end of the third quarter in each of their losses.
So basically, here’s what we know about Thursday’s game: The Seahawks will be leading going into the fourth quarter and they may or may not blow the lead, but there’s a good chance they will. I’d say we should just cancel the fourth quarter, but I’m not sure that’s going to happen because my emails to the NFL have gone unreturned. I think they might’ve blocked me. Seahawks 20-13 over 49ers.
These shirts probably aren’t officially licensed by the NFL. (Instagram/@Blondet0urage)
NY Jets (4-1) at New England (5-0), 1 p.m. ET (CBS): Do you know where you were the last time Tom Brady lost a regular season game to the Jets in New England? Probably not, but if you’re like me, there’s a good chance you were at the mall waiting in line to buy *NSync’s newest CD. Why am I even mentioning a boy band that last released an album 13 years ago? Because that’s the last time the Jets beat Brady in New England (I think it also might have been the last time anyone bought a CD).
In 2002, the Jets beat Brady. Since then, they’re 0-11 at Gillette Stadium during the regular season.
If there’s a good year to end that streak though, it’s this year.
Brady hasn’t seen a great defense all season — the Patriots have faced the 12th, 18th, 19th, 23rd and 29th ranked defenses so far this year — and the Jets will be bringing the NFL’s No. 1-ranked defense into Foxboro.
I thought about picking the upset here, but there’s just no way I can talk myself into picking a team quarterbacked by Ryan Fitzpatrick to beat a team quarterbacked by Tom Brady. Patriots 24-17 over Jets.
If Brady beats the Jets, there’s a good chance he’ll move past former *NSync lead singer Justin Timberlake as the greatest American on this guy’s list. Also, I promise to never mention *NSync again. Maybe.
Tom Brady and Justin Timberlake are the two greatest Americans
— Ryan (@rydaflyguy03) January 12, 2014
New Orleans (2-4) at Indianapolis (3-3), 1 p.m. ET (Fox): For the past four weeks, the biggest question about the Saints was whether or not Drew Brees‘ shoulder would stay attached to his body. You might not even remember, but Brees slightly injured his rotator cuff in Week 2. The reason I’m bringing all this up is because the Saints will have had 10 days off by the time this game kicks off and Brees might actually be healthy.
It would be easy to see the Saints have a letdown here after their wild win over the Falcons, but this also has trap game written all over it for the Colts.
After Sunday’s game against the Saints, the Colts will face two straight teams that are currently undefeated in Carolina and Denver. Also, I can’t pick the Colts to beat anyone out of their division until they actually beat someone out of their division. Indy is 0-3 this season against non-AFC South teams. Since Andrew Luck was drafted in 2012, the Colts are 19-19 in non-divisional games and 19-2 in the division. Saints 30-27 over Colts.
Minnesota (3-2) at Detroit (1-5), 1 p.m. ET (Fox): The biggest surprise about the Lions over the weekend wasn’t that they won, it’s that their two biggest fans got kicked out of the game. One of the fans was wearing a lion hat and the other fan was a guy named “Detroit Don,” which is crazy, because if you would’ve asked me to guess the name of the biggest Lions fan ever, “Detroit Don” probably would’ve been the first thing out of my mouth.
Super Fan and Detroit Don are not. happy. #Gold. http://t.co/6uIb0RiQpN pic.twitter.com/ZHIM361CbZ
— PDS (@PatDStat) October 19, 2015
These two got kicked out of the game and then the Lions went on to win, so I’m guessing they’re never going to be invited back to Ford Field. Anyway, the law of averages says that you should never pick the Lions to win two games in a row, however, since I don’t generally follow any laws, I don’t think that applies to me. Lions 24-20 over Vikings.
Dallas (2-3) at NY Giants (3-3), 4:25 p.m. ET (Fox): I’ve picked against the Cowboys every week since Tony Romo went down and that strategy has worked perfectly so far, so I see no need to change it now.
The crazy thing about this game is that the Cowboys have decided to bench a quarterback (Brandon Weeden) who’s third in the NFL in completion percentage for a guy who was so bad this offseason that he couldn’t even win the Bills starting quarterback job even though everyone in the organization thought he was going to win it, including himself.
Matt Cassel says he believes it’s his job to lose #Bills
— Justin Granit (@WHEC_JGranit) July 31, 2015
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the NFL, it’s to never pick a team to win if their starting quarterback lost the competition for the starting job in a city where there aren’t any good quarterbacks. As you can imagine, I don’t get to use that rule often — and I just don’t think Weeden was the problem. Giants 31-27 over Cowboys.
Philadelphia (3-3) at Carolina (5-0), 8:30 p.m. ET (NBC): If Panthers fans are a little nervous about Sunday, it’s most likely because every primetime game Carolina played last season caused a three-hour panic attack — and not the type of panic attack where the game is close, either. It was the type of panic attack where you want to buy a bottle of tequila and go to bed. In two games last season, both at home, the Panthers were outscored 28-10 and 37-19.
The news gets worse, too: Although those losses were bad, they weren’t as bad as the 45-21 loss that Philadelphia handed to Carolina last year. Basically, playing the Eagles in primetime seems like a recipe for disaster for Carolina.
The problem for the Panthers is that the Eagles match up well with them. Philly’s defense has been one of the best at stopping tight ends this year, which means Cam Newton might have to throw the ball to someone besides Greg Olsen. The Eagles also have a top-10 run defense, so moving the ball on the ground is going to be tough.
Clearly, I’m trying to talk myself into picking Philly, but every time I think about picking the Eagles, I remember that Sam Bradford‘s an interception machine who threw three picks against one of the worst passing defenses in the NFL on Monday night. Panthers 20-17 over Eagles.
Swoop and Bradley Cooper will be hoping for an Eagles upset on Sunday. (Instagram/FoxSports)
Week 7 picks: All the rest
Bills 27-24 over Jaguars
Falcons 31-20 over Titans
Redskins 20-17 over Buccaneers
Steelers 23-20 over Chiefs
Dolphins 27-17 over Texans
Rams 24-20 over Browns
Chargers 30-23 over Raiders
Cardinals 34-31 over Ravens
Byes: Bengals, Bears, Broncos, Packers.
Last Week
Best Pick: Last week, I picked the winless Detroit Lions to beat the Bears by three and then the winless Lions went out and beat the Bears by three. I’m not going to sit here and take all the credit for that brilliant pick, though. I also owe a lot of credit to NFL Vice President of officiating, Dean Blandino, because if he had any idea what a catch was, the Lions likely would’ve lost and my pick would’ve been wrong.
If you somehow missed the Lions-Bears game, Matthew Stafford threw a pass that was ruled an interception on the field, but then after being reviewed, it was ruled a Golden Tate touchdown, confirming that there are exactly zero people alive who actually know what a catch is.
That being said, I’m completely on board with no one knowing what a catch actually is as long as it helps my picks. I feel like the opposite is true for this guy though, who clearly, really, really wants the catch rule to be changed.
@NFL this is the very stupidest rule ever inflicted upon the players and the fans. Time to change the rule, and fire this commissioner.
— David Fiscus (@FiscusDavid) October 20, 2015
That guy tweeted that directly to the NFL, so we know he’s means business. If the catch rule gets changed and Goodell gets fired this week, you’ll know why.
Worst Pick: Last week, I invented a new section called “Revenge picks” and it was such an abysmal failure that I’m never inventing a new section ever again. In the “revenge pick” section, I took the Cardinals over the Steelers because I thought Bruce Arians would want revenge for getting fired by the Steelers in 2012. Instead, the Steelers spent four quarters proving that getting rid of Arians was the best decision they ever made.
One of the other picks in the revenge section was Ravens over 49ers and unfortunately for me, picking any Harbaugh to win anything over the weekend was a horrible idea.
The fumble that may have cost Jim Harbaugh $800,000 https://t.co/jmftgkQDpH pic.twitter.com/DgFbefZXyD
— Forbes SportsMoney (@SportsMoneyBlog) October 19, 2015
Picks Record
Straight up in Week 6: 9-5
SU Overall: 54-37
Against the spread in Week 6: 8-6
ATS Overall: 42-49
Exact score predictions: 1
You can find John Breech on Twitter or on Facebook and if he’s not doing one of those two things, he’s probably calling around to see which NFL stadiums are cat-friendly.
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