NFL Week 4 picks: Dolphins over Jets in London, Cowboys beat Saints – CBSSports.com
The turf at the Rams stadium wasn’t the only thing on fire in Week 3. SO WERE MY PICKS. However, my picks didn’t cause an NFL game to be delayed for 25 minutes like the fire in St. Louis did.
Photo of the #Rams field on fire pic.twitter.com/iLV9m3ts3F
— Henry Hodgson (@nflukhank) September 27, 2015
The Rams learned two very important lessons on Sunday:
1. Never set your field on fire.
2. If you do set your field on fire, make sure you have a Shop-Vac handy that’s less than 75 years old to help clean up the mess.
SOURCES: Rams looking to trade for a new shop-vac pic.twitter.com/VS5aWRmwGc
— Steve Braband (@stevebraband) September 27, 2015
Let’s not pretend like a field catching fire was the weirdest thing to happen in Week 3, because it wasn’t.
That honor either belongs to Warren Buffett or the Chiefs.
Buffett’s in the running because he was the only billionaire in the world who wore shoulder pads and a jersey to an NFL game on Sunday.
Warren Buffett has 99 problems and they are all the Dolphins. http://t.co/98vxuwGXj7 pic.twitter.com/HPpsUJnoiT
— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) September 27, 2015
The Chiefs are in the running because they threw a touchdown pass to a wide receiver and that’s weird because it’s not something the Chiefs ever do.
Figures that Chiefs were waiting for the blood moon. That means next WR TD will be in 2033. pic.twitter.com/nv8fAPzbq4
— John Breech (@johnbreech) September 29, 2015
Going into Monday’s game against the Packers, the Chiefs had gone 659 straight days without throwing a touchdown pass to a wide receiver. That’s also how long Ryan Fitzpatrick sometimes goes without shaving his beard.
Ryan Fitzpatrick is beard goals. pic.twitter.com/s0EuYeBZUr
— Bryce Wendler (@brycewendler) September 17, 2015
Enough talking about how weird Week 3 was, though. Let’s get to the picks, where I promise to pick Bayside High School to win this week because if I don’t J.J. Watt might get mad and I don’t want to make J.J. Watt mad.
Bayside must have had a BYE week. #WhereIsKellyKapowski pic.twitter.com/rsSpLtNg2x
— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) September 27, 2015
Before we get to my picks though, here’s your weekly reminder that you can check out the picks from every CBSSports.com NFL Expert by clicking here.
The reason you should click over and check out the other experts this week is because you’re going to want to start tracking Jason La Canfora’s picks. La Canfora, who shows up on your TV every Sunday if you watch The NFL Today on CBS, went 14-2 picking games in Week 3.
I’d give you his phone number so you can solicit advice, but I feel like it’d be easier for everyone involved if you just asked for his advice on Twitter.
You know what’s not easy? Trying to follow the logic behind my Week 4 picks.
Week 4 picks
Can the Pope save Pittsburgh? (Twitter/@TheYac5)
Baltimore (0-3) at Pittsburgh (2-1), 8:25 p.m. ET (Thursday, CBS/NFL Network): It’s easy to look at the Ravens record and say “Wow, this team is bad, they’re never going to win a game this season.” However, Baltimore might not actually be as bad as you think.
The Ravens 0-3 record has come against three teams who are currently a combined 8-1. If you see a Ravens fan crying this week, it’s because Baltimore has actually had a second half lead in all three losses, including the Bengals and Raiders games.
In those two games, Baltimore had a lead with under three minutes left.
Now, you’re probably wondering, “Why’s this guy still babbling on about Baltimore? Does he even know Ben Roethlisberger‘s injured?”
I was getting there. Not only are the Steelers going to be missing Roethlisberger, but Michael Vick is going to be starting with only three days of practice under his belt. The Steelers offense is amazing this year, which means this is pretty much like giving a Ferrari to someone who’s never even seen a car, let alone driven one.
Roethlisberger has missed six games in his career against Baltimore and the Steelers are 1-5 in those games. Call me crazy, but I think that favors the Ravens. Ravens 23-20 over Steelers.
The Dolphins haven’t been playing much defense — or offense this season. (Instagram/@mini_beast24)
NY Jets (2-1) at Miami (1-2) in London, 9:30 a.m. ET (CBS): For the second year in a row, the Dolphins are trying to see if they can make their season completely collapse before Week 4.
In 2014, Miami started 1-2 after losses to Buffalo and Kansas City that were so bad, coach Joe Philbin was thinking about benching Ryan Tannehill. Tannehill didn’t get benched though and the Dolphins immediately went on to win four of their next five, starting with a 38-14 win in London.
Whatever speech Philbin gave to his team before last year’s London game, he should probably give it again. That being said, if someone could please tweet me an update of this game at halftime, that would be wonderful because I live in California and there’s a zero percent chance I’ll be awake at 6:30 a.m. to watch this game. (If my bosses are reading, I’ll be awake at 6:30 a.m. to watch this game).
Anyway, I’m taking the Dolphins, but only because I think their season’s going to implode if they lose and it’s way too early for that to happen. If you’ve followed the Dolphins since Philbin was hired, you know he doesn’t let his team implode until the final three or four weeks of the season. Dolphins 20-17 over Jets.
Maybe the Vikings don’t need to bring Ragnar back. (USATSI)
Minnesota (2-1) at Denver (3-0), 4:25 p.m. ET (Fox): Somehow, this is the only game on the NFL schedule this week that involves two teams with a winning record playing each other. It’s also the only game that involves two past MVPs playing against each other. I would also say it’s the only game worth watching, but it’s on Fox, so I’m not allowed to say that — And let’s be honest, no game involving Peyton Manning this year has been worth watching in the first quarter.
Over the past two games, the Broncos first quarter drives have gone: Punt, Punt, Punt, Interception, Punt, Punt. With the way the Broncos defense has been playing this year, there’s a good chance every Vikings offensive series will end in one of those two things on Sunday.
What I’m trying to say is that you don’t need to tune-in to this game until the second half, which should be right around the time when Peyton Manning throws how many ever touchdown passes he needs to win the game. Broncos 23-17 over Vikings.
Green Bay (3-0) at San Francisco (1-2), 4:25 p.m. ET (Fox): No matter how bad Colin Kaepernick has been in his career — and he’s been horrible at times — he’s always played well against the Packers.
How well? If Kaepernick played 16 games a season against the Packers, he’d be a first-ballot Hall of Famer. In three starts against Green Bay, Kaepernick is 3-0.
In 2013, Kaepernick threw for a career-high 412 yards in a win over Green Bay, which is more impressive when you consider that he hasn’t even topped 350 yards in any other game of his career.
Kaepernick’s also beaten the Packers with his legs: He ran for a career-high 181 yards in a 2012 playoff win over Green Bay. It’s one of only three times in his career — playoff or regular season — where he’s crossed the 100-yard mark on the ground.
What I’m clearly trying to do here is talk myself into a 49ers pick, but I can’t do it and I’m not going to let a picture of Colin Kaepernick in a Packers jersey sway to me to pick the 49ers. I’m not sure why it would, but I’m not going to let it.
Colin Kaepernick, the @packers fan. pic.twitter.com/Wl7RdGCiMf
— Amanda (@leamandaaa) September 2, 2013
Also, I can’t pick against Aaron Rodgers in this game because there’s a 99.8 percent chance he’s still bitter at the 49ers for passing over him and taking Alex Smith in the 2005 NFL Draft. Bitter Aaron Rodgers doesn’t lose to anyone. Ever. Packers 24-20 over 49ers.
Dallas (2-1) at New Orleans (0-3), 8:30 p.m. ET (NBC): When the NFL schedule came out in April, I circled this game on my calendar — well, first, I bought a calendar and then I circled it — but the point here is that I was really excited for Tony Romo vs. Drew Brees.
In a span of two weeks, this went from my favorite game on the Week 4 schedule to something like my 15th favorite. Brandon Weeden vs. a beat up Drew Brees and/or Luke McCown just isn’t as exciting as Romo vs. a healthy Brees.
Basically, now I know how my nephew felt that one time when I promised him we would watch Kung Fu Panda, but then we ended up watching Chop Kick Panda because that’s all NetFlix had. IT’S NOT THE SAME NETFLIX. EVEN A SIX-YEAR-OLD KNOWS THAT.
CHOP KICK PANDA?! Omg Netflix. pic.twitter.com/orK9KpavvN
— McGuire (@nlymcguire) March 7, 2013
The 0-3 Saints are going to be desperate against Dallas, but unfortunately for New Orleans, desperation doesn’t help you win games when you’re bad. Cowboys 27-24 over Saints.
Week 4 picks: All the rest
Panthers 24-20 over Bucs
Raiders 23-17 over Bears
Bengals 24-17 over Chiefs
Chargers 34-24 over Browns
Cardinals 31-16 over Rams
Last Week
Best Pick: By the end of the season, there’s a good chance the “Best Pick” section will be renamed the “Andy Dalton, 1 p.m., lock of the week.” Last week I picked the Bengals to beat the Ravens in Baltimore and of course, since it was an afternoon game, the Bengals won. There’s no stopping Daytime Dalton — or is it Afternoon Andy?
Can’t ever count Andy Dalton out of a 1 p.m. game. He’s NFL MVP four years in a row if Bengals only play 1 p.m. games.
— John Breech (@johnbreech) September 27, 2015
If I’m the Bengals, I’m calling up the NFL tomorrow and begging not to be flexed into any Sunday night games this season. I’m also asking if being flexed into only 1 p.m. games is possible.
Worst Pick: Browns over Raiders. If someone would’ve told me that the Browns were going to let Josh McCown throw the ball 49 times, I never would’ve picked them. As a matter of fact, I no longer feel comfortable picking McCown or the Browns in any situation anymore.
As a matter of fact, I still think the homeless guy who convinced Jimmy Haslam to draft the Johnny Manziel should be running the team. Until that happens, I’ll be picking against Cleveland.
How bad are the Cleveland Browns? They are using homeless people to help with general management decisions – http://t.co/PTVfh1kW49
— Chip (@ChipBobbert) May 9, 2014
Picks Record
Straight up in Week 3: 12-4
SU Overall: 26-22
Against the spread in Week 3: 9-7
ATS Overall: 21-27
You can find John Breech on Twitter or on Facebook and if he’s not doing one of those two things, he’s probably watching Chop Kick Panda.
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