NFL Week 2 picks: Eagles over Cowboys, Bills upset Patriots – CBSSports.com
While most of you were watching Sunday Night Football this week, I was watching Miss America because beauty pageants are sometimes where I go to get football news.
Laugh all you want, but guess what, if you weren’t watching Miss America on Sunday, then you don’t know the truth about Deflategate. You know who knows the truth? Miss Georgia.
During the finals of the pageant, Miss Georgia was asked a simple question, “Did Tom Brady cheat?”
I don’t know if Miss Georgia watches NFL football, but I think she must because she gave an answer that would have made Roger Goodell proud.
Basically, she said “I’m not sure,” then changed her mind to “maybe,” then decided on “Yes,” Brady did cheat.
VIDEO: #MissAmerica contestant says Tom Brady cheated. If she wins, I am moving to Russia. pic.twitter.com/XanDjvELpX
— Obnoxious Boston Fan (@realOBF) September 14, 2015
Miss Georgia came to the same conclusion in 30 seconds that it took Ted Wells a four-month investigation to get to. The NFL could’ve saved some serious investigation money if it only would’ve hired Miss Georgia to look into this mess.
I wonder what she thinks about the headset situation at Gillette Stadium.
Anyway, Miss Georgia is now Miss America and I’m guessing she’s probably not going to be embraced too much by the people of Massachusetts.
This also probably explains why Brady only judges Miss USA pageants and not Miss America.
Tom’s waving good-bye, so I think that means it’s time to move on.
Awards section for awards that don’t actually exist
The Sam Bradford award for looking super rusty after over a year off: Surprisingly, this award doesn’t go to Sam Bradford, it goes to Adrian Peterson. I think Vikings coach Mike Zimmer forgot Peterson was eligible in Week 1 or he just forgot to include him in the game plan because Peterson only got 10 carries against the 49ers.
I guess Zimmer doesn’t like utilizing running backs who are built like trees and can carry defenders three at a time. Who needs those.
Just Adrian Peterson taking some 49ers for a ride https://t.co/dbBE2WEEOJ
— Kevin Patra (@kpatra) September 15, 2015
Nice run Adrian, thanks for officially carrying us into this week’s picks.
Before we get to my picks, here’s a quick reminder that you can check out the weekly picks from every CBSSports.com NFL expert here.
The reason you should click over and check out the other experts this week is because our resident fantasy guru, Dave Richard, is apparently good at things besides fantasy sports.
Dave went 12-4 in his picks against the spread during the NFL’s opening week. Now, I’m not sure what that means, but I think it means you should follow him on Twitter if you’re going to be in or around Vegas anytime soon.
Now, let’s get my to picks, where I probably won’t go 12-4 against the spread.
Week 2 picks
Denver (1-0) at Kansas City (1-0), 8:30 p.m. ET (Thursday, CBS/NFL Network): I’ve watched Peyton Manning play three games now in Gary Kubiak’s offense — two preseason and one regular season — and I feel like whenever he drops back to pass that one of three things happens:
1. He gets sacked.
2. He throws the ball five-yards over his receiver’s head because he’s about to get sacked.
3. He under throws his receiver because he’s about to get sacked.
None of those things are good.
I think Manning will eventually figure things out, but I don’t think he’s going to figure things out on four days rest. By the way, the Broncos are my Super Bowl pick, so I’m pretty much banking on him figuring things out eventually.
Now, before I get to my pick, this is the part where I’m contractually obligated to tell you that for some odd reason, I’m really, really good at picking Chiefs games. One week, I’m going to jinx myself by mentioning that, but I don’t think it’s going to be this week. It will probably be the week that the Chiefs finally throw a touchdown pass to a wide receiver. Chiefs 24-17 over Broncos.
San Diego (1-0) at Cincinnati (1-0), 1 p.m. ET (CBS): When I’m trying to decide if I’m going to pick the Bengals to win a game, I usually just look at my handy Bengals flowchart and ask myself three questions: Is the game on a Sunday? Does the game kickoff at 1 p.m.? Is Andy Dalton playing?
If the answer to all of those questions is yes, then I generally pick the Bengals.
The answer to all of those questions is yes this week and I’m going to pick the Bengals because they’re 16-3-1 in their last 20 games that have kicked off at 1 p.m. (9-1-1 at home).
Let’s not pretend like this ‘Daytime Dalton’ vs. ‘Playoff Dalton’ thing isn’t real because it is. Bengals 27-20 over Chargers.
Can Tyrod Taylor and the Bills beat the Patriots? (USATSI)
New England (1-0) at Buffalo (1-0), 1 p.m. ET (CBS): When I first looked at this game, the first thing I thought to myself was, “Wow, Bill Belichick versus a quarterback making his second career start, the final score’s going to be 76-0.”
Then, I decided to do something I never do: Research.
Generally, one of Belichick’s advantages over every team is that he watches 355 hours of film on them, the problem for Belichick though is that 355 hours of film doesn’t exist on Tyrod Taylor.
Is this a bad thing for the Patriots? Kind of.
In 2012, the Patriots lost to the Seahawks 24-23 in what was Wilson’s sixth career start (The Pats also went up against Ryan Tannehill and Andrew Luck in 2012, but those games were more than 10 weeks into the season, so there was plenty of film).
In 2013, the Jets lost to the Patriots 13-10 and beat them 30-27, in what were Geno Smith‘s second and seventh career starts. Also in 2013, the Patriots barely beat EJ Manuel and the Bills, winning 23-21 in what was Manuel’s first career start.
Then, in 2014, the Patriots only beat the Raiders 16-9, in what was Derek Carr‘s second career start. New England was favored by 14 points in that game.
That’s a 3-2 record (1-2 on the road) for New England over the past three years and every game has been close, which I’ve decided is just enough for me to take the Bills.
On the other hand, the Patriots are 21-2 against the Bills over the past 23 games, which might be enough to talk me out of this Bills pick. OK, no it’s not. Bills 23-20 over Patriots.
Hopefully my Bills pick goes better than this Buffalo fan’s pregame did in Week 1.
Buffalo played a great game against the Colts. This Bills fan’s pregame? Not so much. http://t.co/T71xzGHIZh pic.twitter.com/vlpjUhuTA3
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) September 14, 2015
Dallas (1-0) at Philadelphia (0-1), 4:25 p.m. ET (FOX): The reason I picked against the Eagles in the Falcons game on Monday night is because I thought Sam Bradford would be rusty and that’s exactly how he played in the first half. There was rust everywhere.
Bradford finally shook off the rust in the second half and went 21 of 25 for 219 yards. That’s bad news for the Cowboys because I fully expect Dallas to have to deal with second half Bradford on Sunday.
I also won’t be surprised if DeMarco Murray leaves no “meat on the bone” and runs for about 140 yards against Dallas. The other thing going against the Cowboys this week is that they’re not going to be going up against a quarterback who has poor clock management skills and tells his own running backs not to score in pivotal situations. I’m looking at you Eli Manning. WHY WOULDN’T YOU WANT YOUR TEAMMATE TO SCORE A TOUCHDOWN?
I’m thinking Bradford will be cheering for Murray to score in any and all situations.
That being said, the Eagles pass defense is so bad that I might have been inclined to pick the Cowboys if Dez Bryant was playing, but he’s not. Eagles 34-31 over Cowboys.
Seattle (0-1) at Green Bay (1-0), 8:30 p.m. ET (NBC): Two of the past three times the Seahawks and Packers have played each other, we’ve gotten games that were so ridiculous, we had to give them nicknames.
First, there was the ‘Fail Mary’ game in 2012. Then there was the nanobubble game in January’s NFC Championship, where God gave Russell Wilson some miracle water to fight off a concussion and Wilson immediately responded by leading a 12-point comeback with less than two minutes left.
Basically, I have no clue what’s going to happen this game — Except I do know that Aaron Rodgers won’t throw an interception because he hasn’t thrown one at home since December 2012.
The Packers have been stuck playing the Seahawks in Seattle for the past three years, where they’re 0-3, and I’m thinking the Green Bay’s going to let out three years of frustration and Seahawks fans aren’t ever going to eat cheese again after this game. Packers 24-17 over Seahawks.
Oh, and no matter who wins, it should be a big weekend for Wal-Mart.
Seahawks, Broncos and Packers merchandise represents nearly 40% of all NFL gear sold at Walmarts across the country today
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) September 11, 2015
@HoChedda @darrenrovell 90% of all Walmart shoppers are from Green Bay pic.twitter.com/pGg8UTYl2Q
— Srimana Matt (@srimanamatt) September 11, 2015
Week 2 picks: All the rest
Steelers 28-20 over 49ers
Saints 31-21 over Buccaneers
Lions 27-24 over Vikings
Giants 20-16 over Falcons
Ravens 23-13 over Raiders
Colts 34-24 over Jets
Last Week
Best pick: Last week I picked the Falcons to upset the Eagles and then the Falcons went out and upset the Eagles. I don’t want to sit here and rub it in, EXCEPT TO COMMENTER IRONCITY BALLER, who picked the Eagles to win 48-13. And yes, I read all the comments.
My social life generally revolves around me reading comments to strangers at the park by my house. I seem to enjoy it more than they do.
Here’s what Ironcity had to say about the game.
Unfortunately, we didn’t get to see any Mark Sanchez.
I was also pretty excited about getting this pick right because it means a new decorative piece for my refrigerator.
Have to tweet this so I can print it out and put it on my refrigerator. #Falcons pic.twitter.com/DSOYW7tG3Z
— John Breech (@johnbreech) September 15, 2015
Worst pick: For some reason, I picked the Vikings to beat the 49ers, even though the best player on Minnesota’s roster hadn’t played a down of regular season football in over a year, but that’s not where I went wrong with this pick.
If I had known the 49ers cheerleaders were getting new uniforms on Monday there’s no way I would’ve picked the Vikings to win because how is an opposing team supposed to concentrate when the cheerleaders are wearing Catwoman costumes leftover from the set of Dark Knight Rises.
Consensus on 49ers new black jerseys seems to be “i don’t care as long as the cheerleaders keep their new uniforms.” pic.twitter.com/MaQn2jcpG7
— John Breech (@johnbreech) September 15, 2015
On a related note, I emailed each team’s cheerleading squad before I made my picks this week to make sure no one’s unveiling any new uniforms. I think I’m in the clear.
Picks Record
Straight up in Week 1: 11-5
SU Overall: 11-5
Against the spread in Week 1: 9-7
ATS Overall: 9-7
You can find John Breech on Facebook or Twitter and sometimes even on Friendster.
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