Let’s just hope that with a new network and two new teams this “all-access” Winter Classic show trumps the sleep-inducing one we watched for four weeks last year. Yeah, you can only work with the cards you’re dealt, so EPIX should be able to put together an entertaining run here with the Chicago Blackhawks and Washington Capitals and their cast of characters.
No drinking game is worthwhile without interaction, so it’s your job to add to our list in the comments. For entertainment purposes only, here is Puck Daddy’s Unofficial EPIX Blackhawks/Capitals: Road to the Winter Classic Drinking Game, in the classic 1-2-3 drink format.
There are many options here. Rather than see you catatonic after 10 minutes, print this out and pick and choose the ones you want to follow.
Here … we … go.
• Every time Alex Ovechkin is missing his tooth during an interview segment.
• We hear the words “Tazer” or “Kaner” or “Sharpie” or “Ovie.”
• Marian Hossa is called a “veteran.”
• You see an exterior shot of Nationals Park.
• Every time a Washington Nationals player makes an appearance.
• The magic and blissful nostalgia of outdoor hockey is exploited.
• Jonathan Toews speaks in something other than a monotone
• There’s trash-talk between players during the game.
• Every time we see a player in their automobile. (CHUG: Mike Green breaks out the Vespa again.)
• Every time we see a player in bed.
• Every time we meet a player’s family member. (Bonus drink: This member is not a wife or a child.)
• Jonathan Toews laughs.
• Someone is shown making ice outdoors.
• Someone drops an F-bomb in another language. (Bonus Drink: Nicklas Backstrom drops an F-bomb in Swedish.)
• When either coach is referred to as being “tough but fair.”
• A player gets a massage. (Bonus Drink: That player isn’t Ovechkin).
• Either the Los Angeles Kings or the Pittsburgh Penguins are referenced.
• A referee chirps a player.
• Anytime someone plays a prank. (Bonus Drink: The victim is a rookie.)
• You spot a pile of AOL “5 Hours Free” CDs on Ted Leonsis’ desk.
• Someone gets a mumps shot.
• Someone comes down with mumps.
• Corey Crawford admits to injuring his foot at a Rise Against concert.
• A montage plays to Maxine Nightingale’s “Right Back Where We Started From“.
• Patrick Kane and Jonthan Toews continue their dancing rivalry.
• A member of either the Blackhawks or Capitals is suspended during one of the four episodes.
• Someone complains about “having all these cameras around here” as a distraction. (Bonus Drink: This person isn’t a coach.)
• Any advanced stat is referenced. (CHUG: If it’s PDO.)
• Sidney Crosby is mentioned in a situation that has nothing to do with Sidney Crosby.
• There’s nudity of any kind. (DOUBLE CHUG: It’s not Andrew Shaw or Alex Ovechkin.)
• Joel Ward gets stuck in a bathroom stall again.
• Kris Versteeg spits some hot fire.
• Anyone does an interview with food on their face.
• Liev Schreiber is referenced.
• Anyone talks about their dogs as though they’re attractive women.
(Ed. Note: Puck Daddy, of course, in no way endorses abuse of alcohol, consumption of alcohol by anyone under the legal drinking age in their region and, without a doubt, the operation of an automobile or any machine while under the influence of alcohol. These games are listed for entertainment purposes and we don’t take responsibility for any result of their application. To sum it up, don’t be a knucklehead and have fun!)