Patriots’ Jonas Gray is a good runner, and he once opened for Screech

The newest New England Patriots star, running back Jonas Gray, he of the four-touchdown game Sunday night against the Indianapolis Colts, once opened up for comedian Dustin Diamond, aka Screech from late-80s, early-90s cult TV hit “Saved By The Bell.”

Wait, what? No, seriously.

You can read about Gray’s exploits here from Yahoo Sports’ Charles Robinson, who was at the Patriots’ blowout of the Colts, and respectfully, Charles sticks mostly to the football stuff — essentially, how the Patriots got the last laugh with a player who had 32 carries and zero touchdowns coming into the game, but a whopping 38-carry, 199-yard, four-TD performance Sunday just down the road from where he had a fairly nondescript career at Notre Dame.

But we can’t help but kick around the Screech thing a little more. Apparently, Gray is a funny guy — so funny that some of his Irish teammates convinced him he could do stand-up, and it earned him a plum opening gig, or at least a ridiculously hilarious one whether or not Gray told one funny joke.

If you are a SBTB fan of yore — and, really, honestly, who isn’t? — you can totally relate Gray into the terms of the show. Imagine Bill Belichick, the Mr. Belding of the Patriots’ Bayside High School if you will, overseeing this whole locker room in Bell-esque terms.

Rob Gronkowski is Jessie Spano in the “I’m So Excited” caffeine-pill episode.

Tom Brady is Zach Morris, no doubt. (So does that make Jimmy Garoppolo, Jeff, the guy who steals Kelly Kapowski? Hmm.)

I’m nominating Darrelle Revis for A.C. Slater, but I could be talked into considering other options for sure. Just think his little friendly rivalry with Brady makes this a natural choice.

Who is Lisa Turtle? Leaning toward Vince Wilfork, inasmuch as that he’s essential to the operation and well known, but occasionally gets pushed to the margins of the dialogue. But neither are afraid to express themselves when it’s called upon.

OK, clearly I’ve taken this beyond the point of sanity. But when a running back no one has heard of suddenly becomes a key player on a championship-caliber franchise and he has a connection to Screech, well, then all rules go out the window.

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Eric Edholm is a writer for Shutdown Corner on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at [email protected] or follow him on Twitter! Follow @Eric_Edholm